desperately in love
by Anrheithwyr
Summary: Astoria was breathless as she peeked out the window, seeing the tall grasses that blew back in forth in the wind, practically singing in the wind. She watched in astonishment as cows lumbered by slowly, uncaring towards the train that traveled past noisily, driving over a metal frame, and letting the uneven dirt path fly up around them.


_**Written for the 'Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition' Game Day 7: Sinking Ships using the pairing Pansy/Astoria, which has been broken up and replaced with Padma/Astoria. Also using the prompts: Countryside,**_ _**Breathless,**_ _**Counting backwards.**_

_**Written for the 'If You Dare Challenge' by Slytherin Cat, using prompt # 821. I believe in her. **_

_**Written for the 'Ten times Ten Challenge' by Utlaga, using Spell: Lumos. **_

_**Written for the 'Flower Language Challenge' by Sweet Bitter Life, using Rose:**_ Write about a romance.

….

Astoria was breathless as she peeked out the window, seeing the tall grasses that blew back in forth in the wind, practically singing in the wind. She watched in astonishment as cows lumbered by slowly, uncaring towards the train that traveled past noisily, driving over a metal frame, and letting the uneven dirt path fly up around them. She was a girl who had spent most of her life locked up in the Greengrass manor, or at the Hogwarts castle for her entire seventeen years. She had been outside before, in the backyard with its man-made river and carefully trimmed bushes; she had been on the Hogwarts ground, teeming with humming bugs and whispering children. But Astoria had never seen what she considered to be a true countryside, with wide open spaced of nothing and no one for miles around.

It would have been the perfect scene, if not for her family in the seats around her; Mum and Daddy and nineteen year old Daphne, who was sullen and silent. Mum and Daddy were talking about the number of Muggles who were on the train with them-Mum thought there were far, far too many-and Astoria could hear her quietly complaining that they should have brought less luggage along so they could have troubled like normal wizards, using Apparition. Daddy grumbled back just as quietly, accusing Mum of having been the source of most of the extensive luggage-Mum had brought sixteen different hat boxes for the vacation, which was meant to only be a week and a half long, a nice little holiday in the countryside, away from busy desk jobs and free from the memories of Hogwarts, where you could still see dried blood stains, and could still hear the screams of those who had been tortured and had died on the school grounds.

Astoria sighed as the train trundled to a stop, halting with a sharp, ear-splitting screech that left a few of the younger passengers with their hands clasped over their ears, complaining and turning towards their parents for comfort, sniffling and whining. Astoria looked towards her own mother, who was all sharpness and cold looks, not the sort who looked willing to comfort her daughter if she ran to her for a hug-indeed, she looked more like she might push Astoria away and demand to know what wrong with her. The Greengrasses weren't close at all, not physically and not emotionally; Astoria couldn't remember the last time she'd hugged her parents, or told her sister, Daphne, how much she truly loved her, and she couldn't remember ever receiving like-minded responses back from any of them. But as Astoria hopped off the train ahead of her family she laughed. She couldn't help but smile at the open skies and warm wind that ruffled her dark brown hair.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady? You slow down and wait for your mother right now! Astoria Olivia Greengrass, just where do you think you're going? Don't make me come after you, young lady!" her mother cried out behind her, but Astoria just kept going, her trunk dragging along behind her as she looked around the train station where'd they'd been dropped off. Though she knew it was silly to assume so, part of her had hoped Padma would be waiting for her at the station, standing just next to the wooden frame, smiling at her with a warm look. Padma Patil was Astoria's girlfriend, a loving girl just two years older than her, and it was their relationship that made Astoria look only briefly, with a fluttering heart, knowing that this was the one relationship that neither of their families knew about, never could know about. The station was empty, though, except of exiting families and couples who clambered off the train. She sighed, wishing Padma were here to make this whole holiday even better.

At least, she thought to herself, Padma had told her that her own family, the Patils, would be having their own little holiday not far from the Greengrass cabin. She knew that an entire section of woods and open fields separated them, but they would be in the same area, same little part of the world, which made it a lot easier to plan secret meetings at night, where they could just sit side by side in the pale moonlight, whispering things to each other, knowing their time was limited, but not caring about anything but living in the moment.

Astoria turned to see her family slowly catching up, Mum and Daddy dragging all their bags behind them as people rushed by on either side. Though they had been arguing the whole here, the country air had clearly already started its effect on them, as they looked more pleasant and happy than they had on the way here. Daphne, immune to the effects of any place in the world that wasn't her dark bedroom back home, only followed after them sullenly, dragging her own trunk along as she caught up with Astoria, raising an eyebrow questioningly at the younger girl. Astoria only shrugged as Mum and Daddy came up to them, Daddy grinning wildly as he pointed at a car-a Muggle car, he said, chuckling at it in his usual condescending manner-saying that he would be driving them to their cottage.

Astoria followed after them to the car, still turning this way and that, half-hoping she would see Padma just a few feet away. Astoria wouldn't have been able to run to Padma-technically, Astoria wasn't even supposed to know who Padma was, since she was nineteen and had been a Gryffindor while in school-but it would have been nice to even just smile at the girl she loved. She watched her family walk in silence, wishing it was Padma she was walking with; she could never be silent around Padma, the beautiful, oh so smart girl who knew just about everything, and never seemed to mind Astoria's questions. Astoria was seventeen, and desperately in love, angry that she wasn't able to tell anyone about the one she loved.

….

"Count backwards from ten," Padma said, her hands covering Astoria's eyes as they sat together in the grass, wrapped up together, limbs tangled together. Astoria nodded, counting backwards from ten slowly as she felt Padma's fingers slip away, leaving the cold night wind to nip at Astoria's ears and nose. Just then, she felt something warm near her face, and Padma murmured, "open up, lovely". She did so willingly, letting Padma put her tongue into Astoria's mouth. They lay that way, wrapped in each other, kissing and exploring each other for several minutes, until Astoria cried out suddenly, seeing shapes in the distant.

"What's wrong, Astoria?" Padma asked, sitting up. Astoria pointing at the shadows which were moving slowly towards them. "Lumos," she whispered, holding up her wand and blinking at the shadows. Astoria gasped as she recognised the taller of the two shapes, recognising Daphne's dark brown hair and surly glares. The other girl was a mirror copy of Padma-most likely her twin, the not so lovely Parvati, who had been rather rude every time that Parvati and Astoria had ever accidentally run into each other. "Fuck," she heard Padma murmur, standing up to confront the two girls who were swiftly approaching now. "What the fuck do you want?" she called out more loudly, pushing Astoria behind her.

"What are you doing out here, Pad?" Parvati asked, coming up to them, stopping just short of five feet away, and crossing her arms in a threatening manner. Daphne, too, stopped just away from them, looking confused and annoyed, still wearing her pajamas, which hung loosely on her thin frame. "Why're you out here with….with _this girl?_" Daphne bristled slightly, but it was Padma who growled loudly and angrily, making Parvati step back. "What are you two doing together, Padma? Why were you kissing her? What do you even _see _in her, Padma, that you would ever dare touch another girl, let alone this weird….Slytherin?"

"I believe in her," Padma said, and it was enough for Astoria to through herself into the older girl's arms, hugging her tightly, and swearing the same was true for her. Parvati was still staring at them in a disapproving manner, her arms crossed as she glared at them. Daphne, on the other hand, had gone pink as she watched-then quickly stopped watching- the two girls, closer than she thought girls should be. She was looking away, and Padma turned to stare at her, eyes narrowed. "Do you have a problem with the fact that I'm in love, Daphne Greengrass? Do you, Parvati? Do you both truly not think that we deserve each other, just because she's a girl, and so am I?" Neither of them would meet Padma's eye, and she unwound from Astoria's arms, stepping closer to glare at them.

"What are you thinking, sister of mine? What are you thinking, Queen of the Snakes? What is going on in your heads as you stare at us, watch us entangled, watch us in love?" Daphne flinched at the word, dropping her gaze from Padma's brown eyes, which were normally so soft and brown. She no longer gave out feelings of warmth, love, and friendship, though-it was all harsh gazes and hard feelings as her own sister sniffed haughtily. "Is it that you think our mummies and daddies won't approve-is that it? Because I'm a grown girl now, and so is Astoria-we're of age, you see, and no one can tell us who we can and can't love, not even you two, with your disapproving stares. I believe our love is real, even if you don't. I believe in her." Padma pointed at Astoria.

"I believe in her," Astoria echoed quietly, trying to keep the smile off her face, trying to keep herself under control, when all she wanted to do was scream and hug and kiss Padma until there was no energy left in either of them. She stepped closer, taking Padma's hand in hers, feeling the warmth of human contact, human emotions, flowing between them and through them. She was happier next to this girl than she'd ever been, crazily happy next to the one she loved more than anyone else in the world. How was it that she had ever existed without being with Padma all the time, without existing side by side with this wonderful human being, who was more perfect than anyone else she had ever met before in her life? No, Astoria was too far gone when it came to being in love, and she wasn't entirely sure if she even cared that her sister seemed disgusted-that Mum and Daddy would never approve-because she'd finally found someone who loved her for who she was.

"Come on, Astoria," Padma said sharply, pulling the younger girl away from the disapproving glares. Astoria willing followed as she stared up at the stars, so bright in the countryside, the beauty leaving her breathless. "We're going away, going to find people who don't care about anything except that we're in love. We're going to be by ourselves, if that's what it takes, but it's fine because I _love _you, and I _believe _in you." She threw a sharp look behind her, taking Astoria away from her sister, from the life she had always lived, where she was expected to be a good Pureblood girl who would one day marry a good Pureblood boy. Now, though, she was following the one she loved through the countryside, happy.

She had someone to love, someone to believe in, and someone to be with for the rest of her life.

"Where are you going?" asked one of the girls behind her, and though Astoria did not turn around to see which one, she could hear the sound of Daphne moving closer, her heavy breathing penetrating the air, and Astoria tugged at Padma's hand, trying to move faster, trying to move far away, because she knew Daphne was right behind them, and maybe the Killing Curse was illegal, but it wouldn't stop Daphne from trying to keep her sister away from those she saw as inferior to the Pureblooded Slytherins. An illegal curse-promise of a lifetime in prison-wouldn't stop Daphne from fulfilling what she saw was her civic duty, even if they'd just had a big war not long ago that had left hundreds dead. "Astoria, you come back here!"

Someone was pulling on her arm, a strong rough hand, and Padma was still gripping the other one. Astoria was being pulled both ways by people she could barely see as she cried out in pain, tears pricking her eyes. She had just wanted to be with the one she loved, and now someone was pulling her away from Padma, dragging her far, far back past the empty fields and the dark woods that they'd been meeting up in. Suddenly, the countryside didn't seem as wonderful as she screamed after Padma, begging her to come back, because she just wanted to be with the other girl. "Move," said Daphne's rough voice, pushing her along. "You don't want to see what's about to happen," she hissed, but Astoria turned around anyway, seeing her father with his wand, angrily confronting the two Patil sisters. She wasn't even sure how he'd gotten her, or how long he'd been there, but all that mattered was getting back to Padma.

"No!" Astoria shrieked, trying to break from her sister's grasp, but Daphne was stronger and bigger and taller-Astoria didn't stand a chance as she squirmed and wriggled, not able to move away, not able to run towards Padma in a desperate chance to save the older girl's life. She screamed again, a high wailing sound, no words coming out, just endless, senseless noise as she screamed and screamed. "Please! Please" she wailed, tugging against the arms wrapped around her. "Padma, please! I love her, let me go back to her! Please! Padma, Padma! Padma, run!" she shrieked, as her father waved his wand, and there was a spark of green light, and one girl fell, and then the other. "Padma! _Padma!_" she howled over and over, falling limply in her sister's arms, her voice quieting, until all she could whisper was "Padma, please," to an uncaring girl, an uncaring dark wall. Daphne dropped her off the ground, Astoria hitting the dirt with a lifeless thud, and she sobbed.

She had never felt alone as she did just then.


End file.
